IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING...

…If it isn't one thing, it's another. A classic line from Gilda Radner's Roseanne Roseannadanna character in her SNL days. It popped into my head the other day while I was chatting with my oncologist.

I had a PET scan a couple of days before that conversation and it confirmed the findings from my CT scan a week or so ago. The previous tumors appear to have resolved and the only significant findings of "weak-uptake" lesions are, more than likely, areas of resolving inflammation from my immune system attacking the cancer. My liver enzymes, which had elevated recently as a side-effect of the immunotherapy drugs, are responding to the steroid treatment and coming down.

I had thought that the infusions of the investigational drug would restart as my liver enzymes normalized and I was off steroids. However… it's always something. A close read of the clinical trial protocol revealed that my hepatic (liver) enzyme level had gone so high that I was disqualified from continuing in the trial.

This is not all bad news. Obviously, I have had great benefit from the drugs that I have received, getting a "deep" and rapid response, ridding my body of the tumors. Results from earlier clinical trials and other clinical experience suggest that such a response is "durable," and could last for quite some time, perhaps several years. As part of my participation in the trial, I will continue being monitored on a regular basis with physical exams and imaging studies to detect any possible recurrence, and if anything pops up, there are other therapies available.

If nothing else, it will make my upcoming vacation a bit less hectic in that I will not have to interrupt cruising the Bahamas and return to California every two weeks to continue my infusions. So I kind of feel like the baby bird kicked out of the nest -- I'm on my own for a while with no infusions, no weekly labs, no visits with supporting staff every couple of weeks, off traveling out of the country with limited communication.

It will actually feel good to be a bit more "self-reliant" for a while. I don't want to get too dependent on the medical system. I'll keep a realistic perspective, knowing that I may need more therapy and/or treatment in the future, but this incents me to be responsible for my health, to "own" my body, my mind and my emotions, as well as the connection between them.

Although I have continued meditating on a regular basis, it has become more focused on relaxation rather than the more intense healing efforts of a few months ago. I'll have to work on re-establishing the balance, not only in my meditating, but also in my life, that will keep me healthy.

For now, things continue moving in the right direction. I'm feeling stronger, have increasing energy and am having more "good" days than "not as good" days. We're heading back to the boat this week to continue our journey to the Bahamas that was called off a year ago February, and I anticipate more and more good days.

It was a beautiful morning for a run today, and as I was jogging along, enjoying the great weather and scenic trail, I made a resolution which I think will be fairly easy to keep: REALLY, REALLY ENJOY THE GOOD DAYS!!!