VIGILANCE AND BALANCE

One would think, that after living in this same body for over 66 years, that I would would know it pretty well by now. I've learned what happens when I take care of it and when I don't; when I push too hard or don't push hard enough; which signals I can ignore and which ones I must pay attention to…
But I'm still learning. Granted, I've been experiencing some new and different things lately -- things I had never experienced before -- so along with the new experiences come new insight into how my body is reacting to the internal war my immune system is waging to keep me healthy.

These insights do not appear passively. I need to maintain an almost constant vigil, keeping a mental inventory of actions and reactions, trials and results to keep up with the almost ever-changing status of my body.

There are days when I feel incredibly energized and just have to go for a run. Other days a long strenuous hike in the mountains is called for. Still other days my body tells me to relax, spend some time in the hot tub and get back into balance. One day I'm hungry all day and am constantly eating, the next day may be a complete change with minimal appetite. Through all of these changes, what I have noticed most clearly, is that If I don't pay attention and do what my body is telling me to do I get "out of sorts," my equilibrium is lost and I then need to focus more of my energies on regaining that "centered" feeling.

In some ways I feel this is a very selfish approach to living. I haven't always put my own needs and wants as top priority in my life, but, at least for now, it seems like this is what's being demanded by my body. Since it's the only body I have, and it's tough to keep going without it, I'd better listen up and try to comply with its demands.

It would be nice just to tell my body to "buck up, soldier" and take it for a run every morning, lift those weights to the point of fatigue like I did thirty years ago, raise the physical limits that have settled in over the past year, put my head down and charge into the physical challenges facing me. In the past I would have considered this type of behavior to reflect strong personal discipline - a positive trait. Now, it takes just as strong personal discipline to not behave in this manner. To exercise restraint, patience and control in responding to my body's needs.

I have mentioned in past writings that I am not the most patient person in the world. I have been known to challenge the status quo at times. But the "new normal" is that there are new limits for what my body will accept, and although I can challenge them, and hopefully expand them, I need to do so while maintaining a reasonable balance between "not enough" and "too much."

To paraphrase the writings of George Bernard Shaw, the reasonable man attempts to modify his values to stay within the constraints imposed by society while the unreasonable man attempts to modify the constraints of society to reflect his own values. Therefore all progress is made by unreasonable men.

The challenge: Be reasonably unreasonable!